Like God Damned MacGyver
by Titania Le Fey
Summary: My take on how the name Snake originated during the war. Snake would be 20 when this story takes place.


Plissken knew better than to fight back. He let them kick at him while he was down but it was the best he could expect after being caught. The damned Commies had separated him from the rest of his squad and he figured this was the brunt of the pain. The stripes always did that. They'd taken his coat and shirt already. He let it slide but when the Russians went for his boots and pants Plissken'd had enough.

He had heard about the camps from others. There was no way he was getting thrown naked in the snow to die. He came up hard with his boot when they bent down to unlace it. The man stumbled back, blood bubbling up around the hand covering his face. Another made a grab for him and Plisskne took a firm hold on his arm. He threw his weight in a roll, ripping the Russian from his feet. The trajectory was punctuated at mid-arc by a snap. All his captors took a step back and started speaking in hushed tones.

Plissken lay on the ground collecting his sense and mental berating himself for not working harder on his Russian. Slowly he came to the realization. The only thing knowing Russian would do at this moment was tell him how he was going to die. That was the last thing he wanted to hear.

Two of his captors roughly grabbed his arms and started dragging him. Plissken let it happen but kept his eye on the surrounding, memorized his path and the equipment his adversaries were carrying. The Russians pulled him several hundred feet through the snow before coming to an abrupt stop. Plissken tried to look over his shoulder to see what was happening. The action brought an instant reaction as the butt of a rifle impacted the side of his head.

Plissken was dazed when his body fell into the pit. The metal grate slammed down leaving him to be exposed to the wind and snow fall. Instinctively, he huddled in the corner until the pain subsided in his head. By the time that happened he could hear Russians approaching again. This was his chance.

Plissken curled his feet up beneath him and readied himself to spring. Shadows passed over the pit causing his legs to tense. Any second. The metal gave way and Plissken went into motion only to stop short when a rifle pressed to his bare chest. He was no fool and backed down. While he was alive there would be time to fight.

Plissken sat in the pit and the rifles back away only to be replaced suddenly by white. It left him momentarily stunned until the naked body collided with him. It was Sophia, undressed but alive. Fire burned hot in Plissken's veins as they closed the grate and locked the outside. If they had dared to hurt her he would eat their hearts when he got free.

"Steven?" The chattering voice brought him around.

"You alright baby?"

She nodded.

"They didn't hurt you?" Snake knew she understood just what he meant. A head shake and Plissken calmed.

"Where are the others?" He asked as he pulled off his pants leaving the briefs below. This was more than for the cold but protection for his team.

"They have Sarge and Tiger inside." She replied staring at the pants Plissken was offering her. He dropped them on her lap and she instantly went into motion to pull them on.  
"Sam, Bradley and Cooper. Haven't seen them."

Snake nodded assessing the situation. Locked inside, team on the outside. Fuck the Russian bastards for taking his belt and the pouches. Sophia went on talking.

"They were questioning us about some commander I've never heard of."

Snake looked over at her with obvious curiosity. The "who" was on his tongue but stopped short. Slowly Plissken reached out and touched her hair.

"I love you baby." His grin widened to something of a child-like deviance.

"What?" Sophia had the look but it didn't faze him as he pulled the bobby pin from her hair.

Instantly Plissken stripped the plastic off with his teeth and was on his feet.

"What are you doing?" Sophia stood next to him in the half stooped position, face pressed to the side bars.

"Getting us out of this damned frozen hell." Snake growled frustrated with the lock. Suddenly it sprung open and Plissken pulled it off. Turning he handed it to Sophia like a trophy. It immediately brought a smile that could have blossomed into laughter under other circumstances.

"If you weren't a pilot you'd be a thief and a damned good one." She whispered causing Plissken to crack a proud smile.

"Next time they come around." Plissken motioned upward and then to the bare spot where the guard stopped. The Geisha nodded understanding her Lieutenant's commands clearly. Now it was a waiting game.

Finally the guard came. They watched him walk past and stop. It was the moment they had been waiting for in the cramped little pit. Sophia raised the grate noiselessly just enough for her companion's body to squeeze by. Plissken slid out and went prone on the ground next to the elevated grate. The yard looked empty.

Plissken jumped up, wrapped one arm across the guards chest locking his fingers on the opposite shoulder. The other arm came around, elbow under the chin and hand gripping tight to the side of his head. Plissken pulled with his arms clenching his shoulder blades together until the snap caused the body to go slack.

Sophia was out holding open the pit's metal gate. Plissken took the rifle and handed over the pistol before they shoved the dead guard into his own prison. He picked Sophia up and made a run for the center building. She couldn't stand long in the snow or else things far worse than bruises would hamper his team. Gently, he set her down on the stone walkway and edged to the porch. He could see inside now. Taylor was looking right at him but gave no sign.

Plissken nodded and glanced at the door beside him. Taylor paused, shifted on his feet and the signal came. The door was unlocked. This was how the team survived they watched everything and had devised complicated silent communication. It was the secret to their success no one could figure out. The Lieutenant went flush to the building. His fingers slowly turned the knob. A scuffle erupted inside sending Plissken carelessly through the door. The rifle but came around and plowed the bastard who'd done the same to him almost an hour earlier. It was justice at its finest.

A second passed and then the room was silent except for the squeak as Taylor shut the door and locked it.

"Everyone get dressed." Plissken was barking orders. It meant this was business and everyone fell in silently under his command. They trusted him with their lives and there was a reason why. Everyone knew the lieutenant of the Black Light was made for war, he lived and breathed it like a fish lived and breathed water.

Plissken was surveying the situation outside when his pants returned to him. He began pulling them on. "Other three?"

"Southwest corner."

Plissken's eyes rose to look at the pit in the southwest. His mind plotting out a path from this position to that one. He continued his assessment only to stop.

"Keys!" Plissken demanded them when his eyes set on the Blazer by the fence. "Chevy. Figures only an American car'd survive out here." He murmured to himself.

"Got 'em."

"Good. Strip the place. Take everything we can use and carry." Snake moved to the rifle cabinet and shoved two more magazines into his pockets.

"We know if anyone else is out there?"

"No." Taylor answered now searching through the files and desk.

"If we got a chance make a sweep of the others." Snake turned on the room and tossed the keys he'd pulled from the guard to Tiger. "Your job."

"Ready?" Steven slipped into the pack they'd filled for him and waited for consensus. There didn't appear to be anyone on this side of the building but there were two sides without windows. Plissken made his way out the door and motioned for the others to follow. His team was honed to perfection. Instantly going to the corners to make the clear. Nods all around.

"I'm taking the vehicle, Taylor torch the place, the rest get our men out." Plissken's words had hardly left his mouth before the team dispersed. He didn't like the clearing. No guards. He stopped by the Blazer eyeing it suspiciously. He took it in an inch at a time looking for booby traps. There were none visible on the outside but the inside had to be foregone when he heard the other trucks. The loud engines were moving in from the forest. That's where they'd gone.

"Let's move." Plissken pulled open the back and climbed into the driver's seat. No time to check. His teeth clenched in worry but the engine sparked to life without an explosion. He wheeled it around pulling up next to the cage that held his three soldiers. They were cold but none the worse.

The engines were getting louder as Sophia climbed into the passenger seat. The others were somewhere in the back. Plissken threw snow into the air as he barreled toward where Tiger had opened one of the other pits.  
His vehicle emptied with precision Tiger already had someone over his shoulder and loaded them into the back of the truck. Farther up Taylor and Sophia pulled two more hostages free. The Blazer was loaded and Plissken started moving before the doors were closed.

"Who we got back there?" He called as the Blazer barreled down the road and through the wooden gate.

"Unconscious, American and two terrified Asians." Bradley, their medic was in the back with the wounded.

"Show them the flag." Plissken called over the noise of engine and panicked Japanese. He didn't know the language but it was the only logical answer. Japan was the only Asian country on the Allied side. The screaming from the back fell quiet.

"Worked."

"Good. We got a radio in this fucking thing." Rustling started in the back before a box came up front to Sophia.

"Get us a fucking pick up." Plissken took the road or what might have been a road before the blizzard as fast as he dared. They needed to put as much distance between themselves and the conflagration brewing up over the trees behind them.

His girl was on the radio a few minutes before her voice stopped. "South ten miles then up the river three miles. We got a plane lift, Osprey in twenty five."

The whole team was silent for a time staring out windows looking at pictures. They needed to collect but it wasn't long before Sam piped up.

"How'd you escape that cage?"

"My secret." Plissken answered throwing a smug look at the review mirror.

"You're a damned snake. How'd you get out?"

"Slithered." Plissken answered just to be a bastard about it.

"He picked the lock." Sophia chimed in looking back at the rest of the squad.

"With what? His cock? They stripped us bare." Bradly replied.

"A bobbie pin." Plissken chuckled.

"You picked a lock with a goddamned pin?"

"Got to do what you got to do." Plissken shrugged.

"Like God damned MacGyver." Cooper shook his head.

"He's a snake. I had one as a kid. It would escape everything. We even had a locked box and it got out." Tiger started in on the conversation.

"Told you he's a snake." Sam interjected.

"You see that guy when they brought us in? You bust him up like that lieutenant?" Tiger asked curiously.

"Bastard tried to take my boots. Deserved to get his ass smashed." Steven answered glancing at the odometer.

"Constricted him like a damned snake, probably."

"Steven "The Snake" Plissken. Got a nice sound to it." Sophia teased.

"Snake huh?" Snake chuckled. "I don't know."

"We got a plane." It was Cooper, binoculars pinned to the window that stopped the conversation. "Stars and stripes."

"Sure is." Taylor answered peering out the window beside the youngest member of the squad. "They're early."

Steven rolled the Blazer to a stop near the trees and got out watching the Osprey come down vertical. It was such a stunning plane. Plissken pulled on his pack and helped one of the Asians across the snow. It was only moments until they were rising into the safety of the sky. Plissken wanted to join his squad in the back but he received a call on the radio.

"Lieutenant Plissken." The voice was someone official, the Chief of Staff but Plissken couldn't remember his name. "I wanted to personally give my thanks to you and your squadron for the recovery of Commander Cosca. We had little hope for his recovery. Once again your team has shown ingenuity and has proceeded above the call of duty."

"Thank you sir." Plissken replied. He hadn't known who that guy was. Now it seemed there was an advantage.

"How did you discover his location?"

"You hear things out there sometimes." It sounded good to Plissken even if he was talking out his ass.

"Then keep your ears peeled in the field lieutenant we could do with more as proficient as you and your squadron. I will arrange for a leave of absence upon return as my personal thanks. See you when you are back on American soil."

"Thank you sir." Plissken handed the radio receiver back thoroughly confused. On the other hand they were getting leave. If only more rescues ended with a few weeks off. Steven strode into the back to join his team. A lot of officers didn't stay in the cabin with the rest but to Plissken these were his friends and family all in one. He'd rather be back here than with any stuffy bastard up front.

"What'd you do?" Sophia asked it immediately upon seeing the smug expression.

"We got leave." Plissken announced sitting on one of the seats.

"What a load of crap. Stop lying to us." Bradley accused.

"He's not lying." Taylor's expression slowly brightened to laughter. "You silver tongued devil."

"Snake, silver tongued snake." Sam corrected causing the squad to laugh.

"Alright how'd you do it this time, SNAKE?" Tiger threw and empty shell case at Plissken.

"Seems that American we pulled is some Commander. Big enough to get the Secretary of State on the call."

"You're shitting me?" Cooper was in disbelief.

"Hell no. Looks like we're getting some more Boy Scout badges when we touch down." Plissken chuckled leaning his head back.

"We'll be wearing chain mail at this rate." Tiger commented.

"Pay's nice though." Taylor interjected. That brought a round of confirmation. They were getting paid double what most others did and they were all young. Taylor was the oldest at 22 and Cooper the youngest, not even 18 yet. Caused the older guys to get jealous but as far as Plissken was concerned if they wanted the honor they could go out and put in the risk.

"Hey Snake." Plissken didn't answer Sam. "Snake, you going to buy some rats when you get home?"

They were teasing him now and Plissken glared though the smile on his expression was trouble. "Nah, I'm more in the market for a pussycat."

The guys laughed but Sophia sucker punched him in the thigh. "You dirty bastard."

"Oh, want to be dirty with me?" Plissken blew her a kiss.

"Oh man you're going to get slapped." Taylor warned. It was true. Plissken and Sophia had a love hate relationship. They were best friends but also tormented one another to anger.

"I'd rather kiss a dead fish."

"I can pretend for you honey." Plissken's sugar words brought the inevitable crack. It was a loud one but it didn't hurt much. Plissken laid his head back again laughing.

"I'd watch out Sophia. I think that crazy bastard likes it." Bradley chuckled causing Sophia to huff in disgust.

Things were back to normal with the Black Light. One more mission under the belt, a rescue and some well deserved time off. As far as Plissken was concerned as he drifted to sleep, life was pretty damned good.  



End file.
